Saturday, 9 January 2010

Repast of the Ancients


Tomorrow we're going to the repas des anciens, the meal of the ancient ones. It's a five-course lunch offered annually by the village council to anyone of retirement age.

We feel uneasy about this for several reasons:

1. Although in receipt of various pensions we're a good bit younger than the average village ancient.

2. We're much too young to be waited on by the village worthies who undertake this sort of thing.

3. We eat very lightly at lunch-time. Five courses with four different wines wrecks us for the rest of the day.

4. A few years ago we were pressured into presenting some kind of typically British entertainment. We got a few other expat ancients together and did the Hokey Cokey. It was received with complete mystification and in embarrassing silence. It started to rain immediately afterwards. We were retained to be on hand in case of summer drought. This is a heavy responsibility.

5. There's always dancing, tangos, madisons and paso dobles. The village ancients put us to shame. In fact we're rubbish.

6. It's not as though we're starving to death. Many village ancients must be much worse off than we are.

We've tried to get out of it, but it can't be done. Once an ancient, always an ancient. They put us on the list without even asking. If you can't beat them, join them. But we're never doing the Hokey Cokey again.

You'll have worked out already that the photo at the top was taken last year. We're in it somewhere.

UPDATE: Just back from the Ancients' Repast. A five-hour blowoutathon, won't eat again for days. Plus dancing between courses. Goodness, these oldies can dance. Personal glass of whisky from the Mayor. My prize for messiest place, split wine, crumbs, sticky caramel droppings? Compliments on my cravat from natty dresser on next table. Raucous singing. Stagger home against bitter mistral. That's it for today.

18 comments:

Vicus Scurra said...

I suggest you try your Edith Piaf impersonation this year. If that doesn't get you excluded then nothing will.

Dave said...

Or you could try insisting on being served British lamb.

Rog said...

That's you in the middle with the grey jacket and the plum shirt?

What about doing a sketch from 'Allo 'Allo with you as Rene? Hokey Cokey indeed!

I, Like The View said...

Knees Up, Mother Brown?

Christopher said...

I wonder if you'd care to join me on the ukulele, Vicus? Then we'd probably be thrown out permanently of the EU and many would be very happy.

You're a hard man, Dave. You know I don't like lamb, and in any case it would be liable to be terribly overdone by the time it got down here from the Channel ports.

Rog: I should add that I don't normally put up such total exposure, so it may vanish in a day or two
(© Dame Z of Yagnub)

I: Gen(ou)ius!

UberGrumpy said...

Hokey Cokey? Good choice.

I'm sure that's brought Anglo-French relations into the 21st century in your neck of the woods

Christopher said...

Absolutely, UG. A lasting job. A permanentente cordiale, in fact. HYN - and how's the blood-letting over at your place?

Geoff said...

Couldn't you translate Jerusalem into French and do that?

Z said...

I used to help serve the Evergreens' Christmas lunch, though it wasn't until I'd lived in the village for 10 years that I was considered worthy. It was a very peculiar meal but, alarmingly, after a few years it seemed quite normal.

Reciting Albert and the Lion usually goes down well. Or a spot of hand-bell ringing.

Sarah said...

Can't wait to be an OAP in that case...sounds as if you are having a great deal more fun than me. humpf

Christopher said...

Geoff: In England's green and pleasant land...au pays d'Angleterre, verdoyant et agréable? We'd be lynched!

Z: I can see that you're a past-master (erm...should that be past-mistress?) at this kind of thing. Next year I'll take care to consult you. And if you were offering hand-bell lessons I'd go like the clappers.

Sarah: Yes, it was fun, but I can't say I really think of myself as an OAP. The Spanish term (as I'm sure you know) is jubilado and is much nearer the mark. Thank you for coming out of your humpf to take a breath of refreshing Lydian Air. Hope the clouds are lifting. Nice boots!

Sarah said...

Ha ha ....that made me smile!

Christopher said...

Well, that's good news, Sarah. Keep on wearing the boots!

Dave said...

I have a suggestion for next year's entertainment at my place today.

I, Like The View said...

I've made one too. . .

Christopher said...

Oh...will they keep? V. ill with hastric bug today head doan loo all night no fun at all

I, Like The View said...

oh ddear

/-:

I do hope it wasn't anything you were served at the weekend (indeed I hope you didn't pick up the Noro Virus from your neighbours)

Dave said...

Oh dear. I hope you haven't been drinking the water.