Friday, 2 September 2011

No foe, beer

Sorry, I haven't been around for a day or two.

Seeking to compare a temporary relapse from keeping Lydian Airs up to date with the agonies of letting the ironing pile up (Interjection from J.: 'What would you know about it?'), I looked for a suitable illustration in Google Images of a life-threatening heap of ironing. To be fair, there were several photos of smug, ill-favoured piles of ironing, but there was also this gem, the one at the top. Maybe one your recent sailing holiday pics somehow got in by mistake.

Google also came up with the photo below, presumably of something happening under the ironing board. If you suffer from AELUROPHOBIA, please don't feel obliged to look at it.

This brings me to what I was going to write about, which is phobias. I can't find any phobia which directly expresses a temporary aversion to blogging, but there are plenty of others, so here is Lydian Airs' Helpful Guide to Everyday Phobias:

BAROPHOBIA: Fear of gravity
KENOPHOBIA: Fear of voids
STYGIOPHOBIA: Fear of hell
ACAROPHOBIA: Fear of itching
COULROPHOBIA: Fear of clowns
PTERONOPHOBIA: Fear of being tickled with feathers
RHYTIDOPHOBIA: Fear of developing wrinkles
POGONOPHOBIA: Fear of beards
MERINTHOPHOBIA: Fear of being tied up
KERAUNOTHNETOPHOBIA: Fear of falling satellites
KAINOLOPHOBIA: Fear of anything new
CYMOBPHOBIA: Fear of tides, waves
MEDOMALCUPHOBIA: Fear of detumescence
NOCOMMENTOPHOBIA: Fear of cyber-isolation

If you suffer from all or any of these, it's best to bring them into the open. Unless of course you suffer from

AGORAPHOBIA: Fear of open spaces (Gr. agora = market place, phobia = fear)

Now in accordance with the title I'm going to pour myself a beer. I'd be delighted if you'd like to join me.


Vicus Scurra said...

Not very considerate of us potophobics, is it?

Christopher said...

Not at all, Vicus. This house is Liberty Hall. You don't have to drink the beer. You could just look at it. Many have found comfort in images e.g. of Pope Pius IX or Alma Cogan miraculously appearing in beer froth. And for old friends there's always Lucozade or Irn Bru.

Z said...

I would love to watch you pouring beer, Chris, thank you.

Tim said...

Presumably you made the list up to fourteen, by inventing nocommentophobia, out of consideration for any triskaidekaphobes amongst your readers.

Rog said...

RHYTIDOPHOBIA is fear of NOT ironing surely?

I would enjoy a beer right now if it wasn't for being plagued by those bloody sirens. It's like they've got more pressing matters to attend to.

I have a fear of Dave East returning from up North wearing a Sou'Wester.

Christopher said...

Z: Pouring a beer is such a solitary activity, even with lookers-on. Would you not rather watch champagne being poured in happy expectation?

Tim: You quite right, as always. Actually I just wanted to have a go at tesserakaidekaphobiacs, i.e. those afflicted by an irrational fear of sonnets.

Rog: Actually my illustration shows Dave beset by Macys, Scarlets, etc. on Loch Lomond. Clever of you to twig. They know nothing of port and starboard, merely the sirening board.

dinahmow said...

I've not yet drunk my full heart-starter it wasn't until the comment reply above this that the sirens slotted into place. I'd wondered how you managed to work them in...
Need more coffee...wanders off

Christopher said...

MIT: I'm very glad you were able to make some sense of it, even in your uncaffeinated state. For all the sense I could make of it it might have been an advert for ear hygiene products.

Please wander back soon.

Martin said...

Is it pogonophobia, or simply too many games of trivial hirsute?

Christopher said...

Martin, you're incorrigible. Or is this merely an example of what the beer did in your own den?

Friko said...

I thought nosecutuusphobia equals fear of cyber isolation?

Or am I just an Atychiphobe?

Christopher said...

Atychiphobe? Irrational fear of midgets?

Tim said...

I think my favourite (genuine) one is panphobia, 'fear of everything'. Where do you go for help with that one, then?
And is there a name for 'fear of word verification words'? Your latest one is 'stroo', which I find somehow creepy. (But it is a bit late, and it's a cold and windy night.)

Christopher said...

Fear of word verification? Kodicophobia or something like that I've mentioned before that your word verifications are thinly-disguised but joyous obscenities like - but I can't quote without leaving here and going over to your place to see what's doing, by which time, etc., etc. 'Stroo' I can only explain by once having frequented (like Rog and maybe Dave, tho' I'm not certain he was let out at night in his youth) Strood, a trans-Medway satellite of Rochester.

Christopher said...

Just looked. 'Quimlode'. I can barely believe this.

Mike and Ann said...

Tim - "where do you go from panphobia?" Surely to pyrephobia. i.e. out of the fryig pan into ...........

Sarah said...

There's a great book called 'Extreme ironing' see:

It's the best thing to do with an ironing board if you ask me.
A beer would be great thanks.

Christopher said...

M 'n' A: Absolutely. When you've had your chips, as we used to say as kids.

Sah: With great pleasure. Cheers!

Sarah said...

Yachi da !